Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Randomize
