We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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