I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
