I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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