he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
