How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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