Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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