One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
