I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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