It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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