D3 body, D1 cock
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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