I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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