If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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