If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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