wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
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neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
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My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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