Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
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how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
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It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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