Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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