my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
