Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
