wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
