Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
