Don't make out with my wife yet
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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