she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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