the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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