My hand turned me down
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i wish my penis had a tongue
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
