Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
