The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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