Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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