i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
