i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
