I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
