it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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