Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
