The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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