You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
