Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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