my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize