did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
