i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
