Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
