Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
