I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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