If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
