STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I fill condoms, not promises.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle