I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.