In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
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we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
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At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.