like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
