You surviving the open bar?
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She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
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Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
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And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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