hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
