Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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