She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
