what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
