I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize