Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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