K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
