Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
