So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
