im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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