He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
