Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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