wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
