I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
