What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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