I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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