Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
