i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
