Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
