maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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